Rewriting Possibility: 85%
Although emotional appeal was effective, her constant use of ad hominid and hasty generalizations against Personnel and his generation alienates the readers. Also, Addison uses multiple examples of assumptions and exaggeration when explaining Personnel and his views. These fallacies In her essay cause Addison to lose credibility and ultimately making her overall essay not convincing. Addison sets the tone for her essay at the very beginning, giving a quite condescending attitude towards Mr.. Pearlstine. Addison begins to talk about if college really mattered to Pearlstine or not.
She explains, “It tattered so much to him that he never got over his four years at the University of Privilege” (21 1 Her use of exaggeration when she states “never got over” gives the feeling to the reader that he is obsessed over the university, almost as if he is so totally obsessed with the idea of universities and is completely stuck in the past. Addison continues the attacks with, “So he moved back to live in its shadow, like a retired ballerina taking a seat in the stalls” (211). Pearlstine wasn’t an actual ballerina, but she used an analogy to compare the two.
Retired ballerina are so involved with naming and have love for the activity causes individuals to not be able to walk away. Addison is stating the same thing about Mr.. Pearlstine. He was so involved with university that he could get away “so he moved back to live in its shadow”. This makes Pearlstine look desperate and has a complete dependent on the university. Hoofer 2 Pearlstine and a retired ballerina is a far stretched comparison to use in her argument. Readers see the comparison as vague and confusing when trying to put two and two together. The way Addison uses this comparison and ad hominid about
Personnel that actually detracts from her argument and making it less convincing to readers. Pearlstine is not the only individual Addison talks about In her essay. She uses ad hominid not only against Personnel but his generation as a whole. Her us of the word “beatnik” in her quote, meet, arguably, the community college experience Is more critical to the nation than that of former beatnik types who, lest we forgot, did not change the world” (213) could be Interpreted In a positive or negative way to a reader. To an Individual that came from that generation of “beatniks” could be taken s a personal attack or a hasty generalization.
Addison Is stereotyping and Informally contradicting the accomplishments that the “beatnik” generation had on our society when she says “did not change the world. ” To a reader not from this generation, this hasty generalization could be a convincing in the sense that she is using humor and sarcasm to enlighten the mood of a more serious argument. An individual from this characterizes them. In Addition’s case, these hasty generalizations and ad hominid makes her argument less effective and not convincing to readers. Addison lacks actual quotation from Pearlstine in her writing.
Individuals can’t distinguish between if Pearlstine himself said this or is this what Addison wants the reader to think about him. This lack of quotation in her writing causes assumptions about Pearlstine. Addison explains that community colleges are important to those who go to college in a community campus. She states, “My guess, reading between the lines, is that Mr.. Pearlstine has never set foot in an American community college” (212). The assumption she gives the readers is the idea that if an individual that attended a four year Hoofer college he/she has never been on a community college campus.
Likewise, if an individual has attending a community college he/she has never been on a four year college campus. When she says “never set foot”, she doesn’t not provide any evidence that Pearlstine has actually never been on a community college campus. Without evidence, Addison is Just making an assumption that is incorrect. Never setting foot on the other type of campus could be potentially correct for some individuals but not for most. Many new freshman students visit a wide variety of campuses in a search or the right college for them.
Correspondingly with use of assumptions, Addison also uses mockery with her use of the word “Privilege” in her writing and she states this word more than once. She puts a negative connotation to the word privilege. Addison states, “Today, at the University of Privilege, students applies with a Curriculum Vitae not a book list” (212). Using “University of Privilege”, readers get the assumption that only individuals with money have the opportunity to go to a four year university. Addison ineffectively uses this strategy that had a potential to be very useful in her say.
Her word choice distracts the reader from the real argument, making her argument not convincing. On the other hand, Addison gets the reader to see her point of view in her argument by effectively using emotional appeal. In her essay, she explains, “If I were a candidate for office, I would campaign from every campus. Not to score points, but simply to make sure that anyone who is looking to go to college in this country knows where to find one” (213). When Addison states, “If I were a candidate”, It is to first get the concept that this statement is coming from a political aground and an educational standpoint.
As she goes on, she adds, “Not to score points” into the equation and this brings emotion or feeling to her words. She is making her point that she doesn’t want to be a candidate for the power and advantages but get an education that is suitable for the individual. By getting readers to feel she actually cares for the well-being of others, it made her article more convincing. If she were to have not said that statement about points, it could have been less convincing to readers because people Hoofer 4 loud have taken as all about her and not about helping others.
She portrays herself as a genuine person and portrays Pearlstine in a negative way. This is an effective way to get readers to find her argument convincing. If reader has a negative feel about a person the will be less likely to find the individual convincing. Addison portrays herself and community colleges in her essay in a positive way. As she begins her argument on the importance of community college, she states, implying that most of the population do not fully know about the services that immunity colleges bring to America.
Her use of the word “gem” sets a high standard from community colleges. When individuals think of gems, people tend to think high quality and very valuable and this is exactly what Addison wants readers to think about community college by the end of her essay. Addison uses a variety of strategies to make her argument as successful as possible. Her use of legitimate emotional appeal was her main strategy that got her readers to see her point of view. Unfortunately, her constant use of personal attacks and assumptions in her essay rattle affected the way readers took her argument.